The House of Rassle

Location: United States

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Hurricane Katrina

I know that nobody reads this blog, but since I have a Catagory 5 hurricane heading straight in my direction, I thought I would add my comments on the subject. As many of you probably already know, Katrina is heading straight for New Orleans. When that happens, the levies that normally protects the city from floods (and creates a bathtub effect, due to the fact that N.O. is below sea level) not only could fail, but according to the city's mayor, will fail. This will leave the city up to 15 feet underwater and kill thousands of people still stranded in the city, leaving New Orleans open to a variety of epidemics that haven't been seen in over a hundered years. It would take months to pump out the water out of the city, assuming that they can find pumps big enough. The pumps that the city uses to keep water out currently will most likely be underwater and unusable. However, if the Old River Control System fails, New Orleans will become America's own private Atlantis.

I've been to New Orleans dozens of times and almost every time I've ridden on the same boat. I've been down Bourbon street (wasn't very fun, under 18 at the time) and walked through a cemetary. I'll miss it when it's gone. On the home front, we recently had our phoneline temporarily fixed with a two strand wire that is hanging by trees over our front yard. When that hurricane reaches us, it will most likely knock out our phone lines and with it, my only internet connection.

Friday, July 22, 2005

We blog because we're too ugly to be camwhores

I just got back from picking up my paycheck and on the way home I saw a gas station sign. It had all the usual information on it: price, grades, corporate logo, etc... But the one thing that stuck out for me was the phrase "Extreme Diesel". Diesel? Extreme? Sure, if you decide to light up a smoke while you're pumping gas, I can see where diesel could get extreme. But normal, non on-fire diesel? I can just picture it. Some douchebag on a snowboard going down a steep mountain while huffing a coke bottle full of diesel while screaming "XTR3M3 L0L0L0L!!!!!111one23" and subsequently crashing face first into the top of a tree.

Every now and then, some tard shows up at the booth window where I work asking for matches. I'm usually polite and tell them that we don't carry matches and they go on their merry way, looking for some way to fark up a simple operation like pumping gas. There is a reason why we don't carry matches or lighters (anymore). Gasoline fumes + open flame = (Think about it). We are well aware that if we started selling matches or lighters some idiot will eventually insist on lighting up after they start pumping their gas. Be grateful we even sell you cancer sticks. I personally have no problem with selling cigarettes because people still have free will. I'm not going to cram them down your windpipe so it's not my damn fault when you start getting various cancers. I couldn't keep the damn things out of the booth if I tried. I'm just a farking gas monkey. Blame management.

A few days ago I was on my way to work and I saw a cow relieving itself. Not in the normal way though. There was a fountain of brownish liquid spewing forth from its ass, reminding me of tubgirl. Sort of a tubcow. I was like, HOLY CRAP, TUBCOW!!!! Sickest thing I have ever seen in real life. The worst part was that its ass was pointed straight at the road so I had a full view of the liquid ass explosion.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Why are you wasting your time here when there is much cooler stuff on the internet?

Monday, July 18, 2005

I surrender

Well, after years of refusing to give into another webfad that's been so overhyped everywhere, I have finally caved in and created my own blog. This isn't really my first blog however. My first one was created out of boredom and a desire to test my "1337" html skillz. My illusions of grandeur back then were much larger. It was the tail end of the dotcom boom and I wanted a piece of the pie. I was into it all. Cyberbegging, "Get paid to websurf", eBay, banner ads, etc. Looking back, I now realize that you could find websites of my caliber just about anywhere on Geocities. I am filled with much shame, but as soon as I can find a decent webhost for under $20 and can attend to something (like this blog) on a regular basis, the world shall know the power of the House of Rassle!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!